How To Stay Focused On Your Goal During Coronavirus

Many of us are stuck at home, can’t get out, no shopping, walks, parks and this can create stress. Life has changed! For those of you who are already home educating, it’s a change for you too, and likewise for those who wanted to home educate but hadn’t taken the plunge are in it now. 

We’ve all been thrown back.
 
You want to raise happy, self motivated learners, who are God conscious. How can you stay focused on your goals for your children during this difficult time?

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1.   Do not contract
Now that schools and nurseries are closed, overnight pretty much everyone has their children home and have been looking for ways to keep them learning as they say.There has been a massive surge of activities and worksheets and schedules been suggested, as though that is the way we need to manage our children with us.This has led families and mums who already have been home educating think, oh ok, maybe I’m not doing enough and I need to be doing more as well, and as a result jumping on the band wagon. I’m here to tell you do not contract.

You do not need to schedule and run activities and assign worksheets to your young children in order for them to learn. It’s the only way the society understands that children learn.Young children and older children are grouped into one, and children overall are seen as those we need to do onto, direct and teach.There’s no better time to stick to your goal of raising happy, self directed, and God conscious children. 

 The world needs them. 

 So do not contract. 

Stay with your goal. 

Have been home educating before closures and plan to continue? Are you thinking I’m not sure how the daily life amounts to learning and I thought my child did need activities and worksheets? I can help. The mums that I am working with are getting clarity on exactly that – how children lay the foundation for skills like math English and science. You need to get clear on their nature, what environment to create and your role in facilitating them.

Children develop foundational skills in the ages 0-7, and I help mums understand the nature of children at this age, how different skills develop and exactly their role to help raise the self motivated, happy, God conscious children.This is the time when your children need you to stay connected to your goal, to stay connected with them, as opposed to giving in to your fear of needing to schedule your child with lots of activities.Focus on connection and focus on tuning in with your child. 

The more you realign yourself to your goal, the more you’ll be able to relax during the day. Understand where your attention is – it’s normal to feel fear amidst uncertain times, and feel things are hard. It’s the fear of the unknown. We don’t know when all this is going to end, and how it’s going to pan out. Keep your focus on what you can control. Remember, Allah has a plan. Ask yourself, how do you see yourself in your relationship with your child? Find yourself a term and use it. I use a facilitator.

There have been days where I’ve written that down and worn it as a label to remind myself. What title are you going to use? You are raising the next generation of people who will be finding cures to such plagues, leading communities and rising up as leaders. So when you’re cleaning up after them, feeding them six times a day including breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks in between, all this is of service to them and in turn Allah, God. So don’t belittle your role, and get real with your expectations of little people. Our fear will make us contract, and start cleaning, wanting everything to be in order because that’s what is we can control.

However, understand that they have not yet reached the age of reason. 

They don’t function the way adults do, so to become frustrated when they take a thousand things out, they’re not doing it to make life harder for you, they’re following their chain of thought, which doesn’t stop and go back, it keeps moving forward. Seeing yourself as a facilitator, will help you remember, you a facilitating a little beings learning and development.The crucial thing I work on with is their mindset. I help them get clear on their vision for their child and work on the ability to realign themselves with their vision everyday. It’s crucial. Everyone around you will tell you, how you need to be doing so much more with your child, but when you work with me, you’ll understand where this idea comes from, why it’s so prevalent and how to keep yourself on track. Now is really the time to nail this down for yourself too.

2.   Fill your mind with what feels good
Be conscious of what you’re filling your mind with. Lots of things are around you to trigger you. You’re afraid of your loved one falling sick, you can’t get out, your phone is buzzing constantly. So now more than ever it’s important for you to be intentional about what you’re letting in your mind.What are your current resources that help you align yourself? I have nasheeds, we put them on often at our home. Is it a shower at the end of the day, getting one even if you’re tired? Opening the Quran daily, daily remembrance through du’as (prayers), playing the Quran, getting up 15-20 minutes early before the kids do, counting your blessings everyday, is it getting on the phone with a friend, or listening to a books amidst the children and the chaos. What is it for you? Is it making yourself a salad, combing your hair or getting dressed first thing in the morning? What is going to put you in an intentional place an take charge of how you feel?

3.   Choose an ideal emotional state
Yes, it’s a choice. I know you want to be present for your children, and look after yourself. But somewhere along the day, usually not long before it starts, we get triggered. And we triggered by different things in our environment – you happen to check a message, the kids started to fight, you’ve ran out of butter, you’re missing your family, something triggers you, coupled by a child screaming, one missing something, and another opening the cupboards up, you’ve lost it. It’s like a button gets pushed.How do you choose an emotional state? Before I do something, I ask the question, what is my outcome? So when you’re about to approach dinner time, what is your outcome and then ask what state do I need to be in to achieve that outcome. If you’re not intentional about this, you’re moving around the day, trigger by trigger as opposed to taking charge of what you’re thinking and being intentional about what you’re doing.When you choose an emotional state, you’re shifting your focus. What are you choosing to focus on in that moment? How are you going to carry yourself, what language are you going to use? This puts you in a better position to deal with what comes your way.The more you do this, the more you build a muscle. And this is what I really focus on with the mums I work with. I really clarify for you how to cultivate this mind-set to get through the day in a powerful way, and living from a powerful place. Once you really dial into this, your home education becomes a vehicle of you becoming that powerful person, that mum you really want to be

.4.   Do your best to make things fun
Now things can only be fun if you change your expectation from your day. Don’t expect everything in it’s place. I know you want to find ways to keep your children playing themselves, but guess what you need to be playing with them. Sit in the crumbs and “mess”, and just be there, have fun and play with them.How do you react to and understand fall outs and tantrums? That matters. Make it fun. If they’re having a tantrum, fall down and have one with them, if shifts the energy.Get everyone engaged and contributing in the house. You’ll be surprised once you tune into children, they’re tuned into you, they want to help you and are more receptive to rhythms you want to set of reset time and lunch time for example.

5.   Make time for your husband
Now I know this can be a difficult one to do amidst all the changes. Stresses are high and routines have changed. Hear me out though, the more stronger your relationship is with your husband, the more positive vibrations your household will feel.If your husband is home, think ahead what you expect from each other. Tag team on doing bed time. At the end of the day, make time for each other, give each other foot massages, be intimate - there’s no shyness here. It’s a blessed relationship so keep the fire burning. Put your phones away, stop cleaning, stop being busy and talk to each other. We’ve been given time to connect with each other amidst social distancing. Use it. Connecting with your husband will give you a really good boost, and charge you up emotionally to cope with the uncertainty of such times.All in all, show up bigger for your children.If you want to raise happy, self motivated children who are God-conscious through home education, I would love to help you get clear on how to do that. You can book a time in my calendar. We’ll take a deep dive into how things are looking for you right now and where you’d like to go. We’ll put our heads together and if I can help you reach your goal, I will tell you how. If not, I’ll steer you elsewhere. 

This free session is not for everyone though. You must be wanting to home educate long term, beyond the school closures, and you must have a child under 7 – because that’s where we rock!

Here’s the link to book a call: www.maryamhomeeducation.com/apply 

Speak soon, 

Yasmin Essa